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How to fill your cup and get rid of the notion of an ideal day

Best laid plans right? 

You know what I mean!

Ideal

  • You plan to wake up earlier than others in your house to have a little un-rushed ‘you time’, to get yourself ready for the day with a shower, hair tidied up and maybe some makeup.
  • You mentally prepare for how you are going to positively react when your children are challenging you today.
  • You plan to get meat out to defrost for dinner before you leave for work to avoid takeaways.
  • You plan what you want to achieve today. 
  • You plan to contact someone you love and haven’t spoken to in a while.
  • You plan to go to bed at a reasonable hour (I won’t say early, because that is just setting ourselves up to fail)
  • You plan, you set yourself up and you know what your ideal day is going to be like!
  • You plan to have a full cup that everyone can drink from and it does not get empty.

Reality

  • You wake up in the morning, not to your alarm but to a child bouncing on your bed.
  • Messy bun again today.
  • Your child is not being their best self and you spark up more than you should.
  • You rush out the door and forget to get the meat out of the freezer - takeaways it is.
  • Your planned day goes out the window when an unexpected meeting gets set that then adds 10 things to your ‘to-do’ list.
  • You remember to message someone ten times during the day, but never do it.
  • You go to bed close to midnight after sorting out your house, everyone's lives and watching a little tv to wind down.

And how is that cup of yours? 

I imagine it doesn’t even have a stain in the bottom of it because someone licked it out to get the last little bit.

But what to do?!

It feels like GroundHog Day right?

You are relentless in the pursuit of the ideal.

The next day, you show up, endeavouring to have that cup full.

You set yourself up, you have goals, you plan, you anticipate de-railers and you start your day.

Then at the end of it, when someone says, “how was your day”?

I can bloody guarantee most of you would say:

  • “Good, busy, but good”; and or
  • “I didn’t get done what I wanted to, but I will tidy that up tomorrow”; and/or
  • “There just isn’t enough time”  

And inside, you feel deflated that your ideal day always seems to be out of reach.

Self-doubt, fear, worry, all set in. 

Why can’t I achieve what I set out to do?

We set these ideals and then beat ourselves up for not reaching them.

Every.

Single.

Day.

And the cup does not runneth over.

The cup flippin’ runneth out! 

And now the proverbial coffee machine is out of order to get any refills! 

 

So regardless of the size of your cup, I want to share a few musings to keep that cup full.

Not only keep it full, but limit the spills. 

1. Notion of the ideal world

  • In an ideal world, we could write any ’to-do’ list and smash it, everyday.
  • In an ideal world, never a cross word would be spoken, we would all agree and disagreements would be a thing of the past.
  • In an ideal world children wouldn’t need to be hassled to eat their greens at dinner time.
  • In an ideal world after having three babies my boobs would have returned to their small but perky B cup selves instead of triangle sag bags that I have to roll up into my spacious A cup bra.
  • And to be perfectly honest (because this happens to me alot) in an ideal world, the mince in the freezer would hear my thoughts and get itself out to defrost.
  • But, let's just say that ‘ideal’ is bull shit and quite frankly one of our biggest nemesis. 

So park that “ideal world” please!

Let me know other alternative words you come up for here like ‘successful’, ‘productive’, ‘awesome’ or ‘great’. 

 

2.  Outside forces

There are forces all around you.

You can control your intentions.

You can control what you plan.

You can control what you prioritise.

But there are external forces.

  • Partners.
  • Children.
  • Family.
  • Work mates.
  • Bosses.
  • Friends.
  • Social Media.
  • Keyboard warriors.
  • Public transport.
  • Inconsiderate drivers.

(the list above is far from exhaustive, but I fear if I continued we would crash the website for using too many words).

You CANNOT CONTROL them (contrary to popular belief that we have this power!)

They are so far out of your control that it is actually impossible to anticipate the outside force that may cause your cup to spill that day.

So put on those perspectacles and remember that how you react is totally in your control.  

 

3.  Commit

Now, this word. 

Some people cringe when they hear it. 

Similar to the cringe reaction when the following words are heard:

  • Moist.
  • Minge.
  • Panties.
  • Engorge.
  • Discharge.
  • Cockroach.
  • Squirt.

(I will wait here until you have calmed down and stopped squirming).

If you commit to the things you prioritise in your life, then you’ll do it.

You’ll turn up.

If you say you will meet a friend for coffee, you will, because the thought of her sitting there alone is not something you want to be responsible for. 

If you sign a contract and say you’ll work 40 hours a week, whether you feel like it or not, you turn up (I’m not saying your mindset is optimal when you get there, but you still turn up!)

Accountability is massive for getting shit done and not letting excuses creep in to justify you rolling them back down the priority list. 

 

It’s a journey.

Sometimes it’s a kick in the guts, spit in your face, call you names, kind of journey. 

And sometimes it’s a unicorn shitting sunshine, butterflies, rainbows, kind of journey. 

And despite those shit parts of the journey.

When your cup is so dry a camel feels sorry for you.

 

By not letting those parts of the journey wear you down, that, is a sweet victory. 

You not destroying yourself for not reaching the “ideal” is a victory.

You recognising the “forces” you can’t control is a victory.

And you not running from committing to things that will make you feel good, is fricken hands in the air, dancing like you just don’t care kind of victory.

 

So, be kind to yourself.

Know what your cup needs to runneth over like a glass of champagne at a bottomless brunch.

  • Own your shit
  • Connect together with your people.
  • Move your ass more.
  • And be relentless in hustling forward, don’t stop.

And in the words of Captain Planet, since lately our team has been talking about favourite tv shows from when we were growing up - “The power is yours”.  ✌️❤️

Daz from Hey Mama Movement be kind